Follow Me into a new darkness

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Sanity

Do I call

a spade a spade

or knaw fruitlessly

at eternity’s gate?

Joy is fleeting

Sorrow stands still

The mind mocks the mind

as I look out the window sill

Want an irony?

Then wonder what

these walls are for

to keep the inside in or the outside out

the barbed wired fences

my prickled tenses

are all but a fantasy

for I’m locked in, the world locked out

in a mirage of empty seas

At length, they want to fly away

my birds of sanity

but when they re free my mind begins to see

how the cage was a godsend!

Walk On

Empty roads beckon
they were taken long before
and are now forgotten
Now I take a turn to walk some more

I ran through perils
dangers looking me in the face
I left my home to fly
To finish every race

I ran and ran till my breath caught me
and told my life to slow down
and then I sat down finally
and took a look around

When did these flowers bloom
they were still small petals when I’d passed by
When did the sky grow dark
It was always sunshine breezing by

When did I lose you
walking by me
When did you bid your goodbye
and why did I fail to feel?

So to not feel
I keep running towards my destiny
Only once I reach there I realize
This was where I started my journey.

The Unknown Lover

He sits
in an open grave
untouched
his innocence sometimes sinfully craves
a morbid sense of love
who’d love him
if not her
the darkness of a hidden sky
she, who lives with a shadow
and a tear in the corner of her eye

He sits
perched on a grave
waiting
for the dismal joy
that comes in pain
who’d love him
if not her
the death of sound
she, who lives in silences
and for unknown music she dances
She is the unknown lover
a shroud, veil of secrets
the start of all of life’s mysteries
and the end of bleeding regrets..

The Long GoodBye

Thought it shouldn’t matter

Thought it would drown in your weak laughter

In a breeze it stayed

My dreams of a new heart for

you

You lie lost deep in those sheets

The machine hums as you smile in your sleep

In a moment of prayer

I drown all my sorrows of losing

you

“Nothing’s sad Nothing happy

Most of the times we just…be”

In your words

I’ll find that my forever will be

you

It’s a long night

I breathe in every last of your sight

In your dreams

you will see a future,won’t

you?

You opens your eyes

and gaze right through my sigh

“You will be fine” you say

And the pain just leaves…for this last while

The Dawn

Broken pieces of glass
an untouched wrist
tears running wrought
and causing a blinding mist

The wind blew in
and shattered it all
and with all this mess
this room’s suddenly too small

But as the sun shines through
the glasses shine
through all this sorrow
this light seems mine

Too many years I have lived
with no knowledge of light
with only strength of my trusted senses
and this mind’s might

So now when the good times dawn
and the light shimmers past
I smile and wonder
Was ti just the wind that broke the glass?

Voices in my head

The voices in my head

ain’t voices anymore

they’re vacant souls

begging me to let them go

An empty house

beyond an empty yard

uneaten dinners

and unread cards

Stare back at me

in a lost battle of perseverence

They wouldn’t just let it rain or snow

The voices in my head

wouldn’t just let me go

Reflections

Winds of the heavenly gods,

Come to Thee, My Sire

To Thee, they make known the world

Through Thee, they come to earth

This unyielding heart

Doeth skip a mortal beat

When Thy feet bless the ground

Or Thy breath doeth oblige the air

The world may claim me mad

But Thy mind will save mine

It will raise me from my death

For my death is equally Thine

Mirrors, don’t lie, Oh sire!

And mine doeth tell the truth

Thou, my reflection, my sire

Art my only borne fruit

A new Diwali

She was waiting at the bus stop at Sarai, it had been more than a year since…and yet she could see it all like it had happened yesterday.

“Uncle jee..! Ruko tero bag gir gayo hai, le lo !” he had yelled, she had seen him before, the kid. He used to come by there everyday with his elder brother. As the bikers sped past, she was thinking about how careless they are, to be leaving a bag like this. The very next second there was a sound, and her ears went numb. For a moment all was silent and then…the screaming, she was still standing at the bus stand as others were rushing towards the blast site to help. But there was no one alive. That boy was dead. All was black at first, and then she saw the blood. She wasn’t hurt but she was there. She had seen it happen.

It had taken her three months to be able to walk through that market alone again and today, one year later she was still eyeing the corners. People were walking down the street, talking, smiling as if nothing had happened. But Kiran was scared, she looked around nervously as she reached the electronics shop, looking for unattended objects, staring at every biker who went past. Her heart stopped every time a kid burst a cracker, it’s Diwali, but this time of a different kind, in this one children don’t die. And then she saw it, right in front of the corner sweet shop, a man wearing black clothes, he kept the wrapped up box at the counter of the shop and was about to start a bike. She walked past him slowly, watching every move he made, he looked around 20 and had an old bike. He didn’t remove his helmet and she could only see his eyes. He seemed familiar. A possible terrorist, she thought, maybe I saw him at the Aulia Masjid someday, isn’t that where they all come from? She was panicking now, It won’t blow up as long as he is here, she convinced herself, it’ll only blow up once he leaves. And I won’t let that happen.

She started searching for her cell phone to call the police, but she had to do it slowly because if he found out he might run away. Suddenly, he looked up and saw her staring at him. She was caught! He’ll run away leaving the bomb! She looked around at the market and suddenly it seemed more crowded than usual. A woman walking with her baby, and an old uncle buying groceries. Oh My God! So many people, all dead. She looked back at the shop and saw the man coming towards her, the bag in his hand. She froze, a suicide bomber, perhaps? She fumbled in her purse as fast as she could. Her eyes were filled with terror as the man crossed the road and came towards her. He was opening the bag! As she took out her cell phone and began to dial, she could already hear the blast in her head.

He opened the box, peered down at her with a big smile and said, “Happy Diwali, Didi”

She looked up dazed and with a sigh of relief replied, “Thanks, Zahir”.

The Girl in the Mirror

It’s staring back at me

my broken mirror

lost in the corners

it stares mocking me

laughing, swearing , jeering, sneering

who is that little girl

blood in her hands

staring back at me

would death come by

through broken glass?

she looks around and laughs

no one saw her

as she dragged the knife

and killed

it’s cold now

the knife

the blood has dried

and she’s laughing…

they would never know

for they would cry

for the little girl

whom he hurt and hurt bad

they would cry

at the twisted story

the blood all around

and the gruesome mystery

at length it would come

my sin

it would come back to me

and I would boast of the life I had

and laugh about the day I killed my dad.